Monday, July 16, 2012

Happy Snark Day, Wanda June

"Let us take them in order. The first is the taste,
Which is meager and hollow, but crisp:
Like a coat that is rather too tight in the waist,
With a flavour of Will-o-the-wisp.

The question of the Snark’s flavor has exercised the minds and palates of the cognoscenti for many years. However, I am possessed of an indolent nature and prone to fits of take-out, such questions matter not a whit to me. The uncooked flesh of the Snark was sufficient for our more distant ancestors but today’s effete gastronomes must have their Snark curried, tandoori grilled or even minced into seekh kebabs — but never boiled à la anglaise (the hollowness vanishes and leaves behind a residue redolent of a fleet of bathing machines saturated in warm, flat beer). 
To properly honor this Wednesday's Snark Day, the 138th anniversary of the genesis of the Hunting of the Snark, here's a traditional Assamese recipe for cooking Snark. Please try it, you won’t be disappointed!

Genuine Assamese Snark Curry
Mix the following together:
1 kilo of Snark meat, cubed (if no Snark is to be had, use beef, goat or lamb, preferably with bones)
6 medium onions, minced
small head of garlic, minced
an inch of fresh ginger, grated
tablespoon of turmeric
one cinnamon stick
one cup of oil
tablespoon of salt
• a sufficient amount of genuinely hot green chilis, slit
• if you wish to "Indianize" this curry, also add a tablespoon of ground cumin, a tablespoon of ground coriander and a tablespoon of garam masala. This might be preferable for those who are accustomed to the somewhat ubiquitious flavors of Northern Indian cuisine and enjoy a certain familiarity in their curry. However, the authentic Assamese version has a delicious simplicity which is worth trying!

Mix and let sit overnight. Cook on low heat, with the lid on and stirring occasionally for 30 minutes. Add one cup of water, bring to boil, and then reduce heat to a simmer. The curry should finish up with a thick gravy, not at all runny. Cook for about 90 minutes or until meat is tender. Taste for salt, etc. The curry can be garnished with ghee and/or tamarind water. If beef, lamb or goat meat was used, serve with rice, vegetables and dahl.

However, if you used Snark, serve with greens, using forks and hope. Wash it all down with copious amounts of Golden Eagle beer and the stimulating gyrations of two dissipated nautch girls named Anna and Paisa. What ho, memsahibs!


  1. Woe me! I forgot to bring a Wednesday Snark Day present. At least I'm not late at offering you my best wishes for a Will-o’-the-wisp-flavoured Snark day.

  2. Happy Snark Day to you also. Alas, I cannot find any Golden Eagle beer in Montreal, not even Solun Number One Genuine Scotch Whiskey Made in India … so a good cup of tea will have to do.

    And thank you, Lewis Carroll, for giving me something socially acceptable to do with my life.